Privacy

Privacy Policy 

Bruce LLC Privacy Policy
Last Updated: Bruce LLC

This Policy was written by our Cybersecurity Agent. 

1. Overview
At Bruce LLC, we take your privacy as seriously as we take the existence of unicorns. We’ve written this privacy policy in the most complex way possible, ensuring it’s impossible to read, and designed to give you a false sense of security while we continue to do whatever we want with your data. Don't worry, it’s all for our entertainment!

2. Information We Collect
We collect everything. Your name, your address, what you had for breakfast, your pet’s favorite toy, and even your thoughts (yes, we’ve developed telepathy). If you're online, we already know what you're doing, and we don't care how private you think your browser settings are—we see it all.

• Personal Data: Literally everything about you.

• Browsing Data: We track every website you’ve visited since 1997.

• Random Data: We collect your deepest secrets just because we can.

3. How We Use Your Information
We use your information in the most random ways possible. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. We might sell it to aliens, post it on a billboard in Times Square, or use it to write a movie script. Here are just a few of the unpredictable ways we handle your data:

• We’ll sell it to anyone with a check book.

• We’ll email you pointless newsletters you never signed up for.

• We’ll use it to create fake profiles on dating apps for fun.

4. Sharing Your Information
We share your data with absolutely everyone. Your nosy neighbour, that person who always takes the last cookie at the office, and maybe even your ex. Why? Because we can, and we're sure they’ll find it amusing.

• Third-Party Companies: We have no idea who they are, but they’ve got your data now.

• Hackers: We left your data in an unlocked file marked “Steal Me.”

5. Data Security
Our security system is basically a cardboard box. We use top-tier encryption, by which we mean we’ve duct-taped your data to the ceiling and hope nobody looks up. But hey, if anyone does manage to steal your data, we’ll act surprised.

6. Your Rights
You have no rights. Seriously, this is the section where we’d usually tell you about how you can access or delete your data. But let's be real—once we have your information, it’s ours forever. Want to complain? Feel free, we’ll just add that to the data we collect too.

7. Changes to This Privacy Policy
We change this policy every Tuesday, but we won’t tell you when we do. Why? Because that would ruin the fun. If you want to know what’s changed, you’ll have to hack into our servers. Good luck with that.

8. Contact Us
For any questions, concerns, or requests regarding this privacy policy, please contact Bruce LLC at:

Email: support@bruceclub.com